Working with Grief

 Working with Grief
Grief is a terrible and alienating process, all of us respond to grief in different ways and it’s hard to understand or cope with another person’s grief process that is why it’s alienating. The process of grief usually starts with denial, they will come back, they are not gone, sometimes waiting for the key in the door or the voice in the hall or on the telephone, in this time the person trying to come to terms with their loss will possibly put there life on hold and not do anything, shutting out reality, immersing themselves in a different world of hope, withdrawing from others close to them, that are also trying to come to terms with the loss, possibly arguing with the closest people, not accepting their reality that the person has gone. This can be a very destructive process and could separate families, friends and collective groups and would need a service like Cruise or a Counsellor to help heal the void between them.
Sometimes the next stage is anger, which is very hard to process, you are not likely to want to be angry with the one you have lost, but this is a natural part of the process even if it’s just I angry at you going, why are you not here etc again sometimes people can miss this part out and it will come back later on in another time or place, possibly at another moment of loss, which does not have to be losing someone but can be losing a piece of paper or anything. If one person takes responsibility for the arrangements then they may not go through the process because they are busy, but then the emotions of loss will have to be interacted with sometime, occasionally many years later. The time it will take us all to go through this process is different and there is no formula for it in this sense but the process is just that, it’s a process and there will be a start a during and a finish. Just be aware people need space and time to cope with loss and nothing is right or wrong but the best way of coping is to talk and interact with your emotions.